Disclaimer: The content displayed in the article is directly copied from boldanddetermined.com (which was closed down) to be available for those who are looking for it. Some parts were edited by the writer of this post to fit a wider audience and convery more benefits.
The best way to become ordinary is to follow the advice of ordinary people. Maybe even some of the time they truly believe their advice will help you. But most of the time their advice is designed to keep you from rising up. They’ll say “well, I just don’t want to see you get hurt“. But what they truly mean is “well, I’d really hate to see you succeed and remind me of my menial existence“.
So who can you take advice from?
You take advice only from people who walk the walk, the only people who give meaningful advice. And here’s the cold hard reality: Good advice is always the opposite of popular advice, or the “consensus”.
When you ask for the consensus in regards to blah blah you are asking how to fail. I see this in internet forums all the time. Some guy on a bodybuilding forum asks for a consensus on some exercise or supplement. A bunch of know-nothing talkers talk about their know-nothing opinion and the advice seeker says “thanks for the great advice. Glad we’re all on the same page“.
If you want real advice that really works you take it from the lone wolf who’s opinion differs from the consensus. If the consensus is “A”, you do “B”.
But when you take unpopular advice you become a target to your friends and family for doing something out of the ordinary. They start to question you, they start to mock you, they demand you give in to them and do the normal thing.
So you do one of two things:
- You tuck your tail between your legs and give in, like a broken dog, or
- You become unbreakable.
Larry the Lamb chooses option #1.
Winner Wolf chooses option #2. He becomes UNBREAKABLE. The opinions of lessers mean absolutely nothing to the unbreakable.
What does it mean to be unbreakable?
To put it in no uncertain terms, becoming unbreakable means building and maintaining a protective shell or wall around your emotions to insulate yourself so you don’t even entertain thoughts that deviate from your plan.
Inside your head you have your plan, you know your plan. Your mom, your dad, your girlfriend, your best buddy from 5th grade don’t know your plan because they aren’t inside your head. When you spill your guts to them about your plan they try and talk you out of it. They don’t understand your plan and it isn’t their job to understand, it’s their job to try and talk you out of it. The breakable will listen to them and say “Yeah, I guess you’re right“. The unbreakable won’t even hear it.
If you want success you must have a plan for that success and it must be on your terms. To do things on your own terms you must be unbreakable. Develop an unbreakable shell. When they shout their nonsense in your ear don’t let it break you. When they talk down to you, ridicule you, or poke fun at you don’t let it break you. Don’t even hear it, don’t even entertain it, don’t even pretend to listen.
Remember this: They are in the position they are in because they took that same stupid advice; go with the flow. If you want to be like them then listen to them and become forgettable. If you want more you must ignore.
Recently a reader asked me how to deal with an inferiority complex. Here’s what you do: develop a superiority complex by becoming superior. Don’t just think of yourself as superior, become superior. This “everyone is equal and everyone is the same” line is cute and all but it’s baloney. Some people are good and some people are bad, some people are inferior and some people are superior.
My man ,
Reading your blogs is a breath of fresh air. In fact, I was so driven insane by thoughts of failure and depression that only your blog helps.
My question: I go to an Ivy League university (not that I give a shit about it, but it gives context to my problem) and seeing so many intelligent people around me deflates me. I know I’ll never be an engineer as good as some of these guys, or a mathematician. I know-and this is factual-that ounce for ounce, some of them are more intelligent.
My success comes in practical things-the softer subjects, but also life. I am a religious Indian man and I believe in leading my life with pride and purpose. Yet it happens so often-I feel inferior to others who are “better”, more intelligent/more accomplished, although I am gifted in so many ways-I look for something even better.
I have to overcome this shit; I need to wake up knowing that I’m no lesser to anyone. Hell, I know in my heart that I’m a champ, but the fire seems to die out every once in a while.
I was in the social circle/networking until about a year ago, when a rumor came to bite me in the back. I quit that shit called Facebook and now just look at emails…was happy when I saw you wrote a post on that.
PLEASE write a blog post on this if you can. I want to live life like a tiger, and I want to stop feeling like a 2nd rate piece of trash from time to time. HOW DO I FORGET MY PAST MISTAKES? I care too much about what people think of me. I need to move on with my life, but it’s not happening. I need your advice.
Thanks so much,
Sanford
If it were true that you wanted to overcome this inferiority “complex” then you would be busy right now. You would be busy building, molting, or metamorphosizing.
If you feel inferior there is only one damn thing you can do.
BECOME BETTER.
Remold into gold and become a superior man.
Put a plan into action and follow it until accomplished and don’t let a goddamn thing get in your way.
I’m not going to tell you that you’re just as good as everyone else and that no one is better than you and that we all have our strengths. Some people are better than others. If you are inferior it isn’t a complex. It’s a cold, hard slap in the face from daddy reality.
If I were inferior, and believe me I used to be, I would work like hell to become superior.
Here is the rule to follow: Accept the things you cannot change and fix the things that you can. And then become unbreakable. If it cannot be changed there is no sense in crying about it, but if it can be changed and it’s eating at your soul then you need to work on it, day and night if need be, until you’re a better man.
Some people will call superiority a mental disorder. I don’t care. The mental health profession is full of delusional ninnies. When you’re so focused and driven that you don’t let nincompoops tear you down that is called a mental disorder or a social disorder. Fine. They can be normal and “healthy” all they want. That’s why they are losers. The entire mental health industry is full of quacks and crazies, to listen to them is insane. Inferiority and superiority aren’t complexes, they are real life.
When I see people I usually feel one of two things: Disgust or curiosity. When I see dirty people I feel nothing but disgust. When I see well dressed, presentable, successful people of means I become curious. “What do they do, how did they do it, and what could I learn from reverse engineering them?“.
And when I go looking for advice, guess which type of person I go to?
Inferior or superior, choose one or the other ’cause ain’t no in-between.
Until next time.
