Jesse Pinkman is not a superhero or an extraordinary figure; he is just a man striving to be better but constantly failing. He exists in an unfair world filled with chaos and contradictions, struggling to find his place but always feeling inadequate no matter what he does. He is doomed to a life of regret and loss, pushing him on a continuous journey to find meaning and identity.
A Search for Meaning in Life
Jesse’s life is a never-ending cycle of suffering. He tries to escape the toxic relationships that have haunted him since childhood, only to realize that every step forward is just another loop in a cycle of pain and confusion. Even the love he found with Jane was not enough to save him from his deep-seated guilt; instead, losing her only intensified his suffering.
The Pufferfish Metaphor
Walter White once referred to Jesse as a “pufferfish”—a fish that appears strong only because it inflates itself, but in reality, it is extremely vulnerable. This metaphor perfectly encapsulates Jesse’s life: he tries to appear tough and in control, but deep down, he is scared and fragile. He seeks protection but always ends up as a victim of the circumstances surrounding him.
Death Always Lurks Around Him
Jesse is not a direct killer, yet he always seems to be present when someone dies, making him feel responsible for these tragedies—even when he isn’t. He has witnessed the deaths of many people close to him, such as Combo, Jane, Andrea, and even nearly Brock. These losses weigh heavily on him, increasing his guilt and dragging him deeper into despair.
Viktor Frankl’s Theory on the Need for Purpose
Psychologist Viktor Frankl argued that humans need a sense of purpose to feel valuable; without it, they fall into a void of emptiness and despair. This idea applies perfectly to Jesse. When he lacks direction, he feels like a meaningless ghost. To escape these feelings, he turns to drugs and crime, yet neither brings him true happiness.
Struggles with Family
Jesse never had a safe home to return to. His parents constantly compared him to his younger brother, making him feel like a failure and an outcast. This pressure pushed him toward rebellion, rejecting the values he was raised with. He distanced himself from his family, refusing any attempts at reconciliation. Though his parents were not evil, their harsh parenting style drove him away, forcing him to seek a different life elsewhere.
From Model Student to Rebel
As a child, Jesse was a good student, but over time, family pressure led him to rebel. He always felt like he would never be “enough,” no matter what he did, so he deliberately chose a path different from what was expected of him. This rebellion led him into the world of drugs and crime, where he finally found a place where he was accepted without conditions.
Walter White as a Surrogate Father
In Walter White, Jesse found the father figure he lacked. Even though Walter often manipulated him for personal gain, Jesse saw him as someone who genuinely cared. Their relationship was complex—Walter sometimes protected Jesse and other times exploited him. Despite this, they depended on each other in a way that was impossible to separate.
The Growing Divide Between Jesse and Walter
As Walter grew more ruthless and fully embraced his “Heisenberg” persona, Jesse took the opposite path, trying to escape the criminal world. While Walter became more of a monster, Jesse struggled to reclaim his humanity. After Jane’s death, Jesse began to see Walter for what he truly was—a destructive force in his life.
Love and Redemption
When Jesse met Jane, she was the only person who accepted him as he was, without trying to change or control him. Their relationship was his escape from suffering, but losing her shattered him completely, bringing him back to square one. Jane was not just a fleeting love—she was his only refuge from pain and chaos. When he lost her, he also lost his last hope for happiness.
